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365 Days (365 Dni) Netflix Review: A Polish/Italian 50 Shades Of Grey

Do you remember 50 Shades of Grey? What about if it happened between a Polish professional woman and an Italian Gangster? It sounds more exciting than it is.

365 DNI

Even if it's not your schtick, you've probably heard of the 50 Shades of Grey series. In essence, this movie is a similar type of story, with the protagonist being a woman who has one year (365 days) to fall in love with a man who kidnapped her. As with many movies of this type, you can immediately see where the marketing department comes in. It's a film designed to be irresistible for a particular kind of viewer. The protagonist is a forgettable everywoman that could be anyone, and the male "object of desire" is handsome, rugged, muscular, and rich. It has all the hallmarks of a film designed to appeal to people who want that sort of fantasy escape. That said, it's utterly worthless to those of us who have no interest in 7-minute-long sex scenes or shopping trips.

Flimsier Than Lingerie

Laura in Luxury (365 Dni)

Our story follows Laura, an upper-echelon professional that does...something. The nature of her job is never made apparent. Still, it's alluded to that she's somewhat essential (but not critical enough for anyone to go looking for her after she gets kidnapped, apparently). She breaks up with her boyfriend while on vacation in Sicily and gets abducted by our suave leading male character Massimo, a gangster of some repute. He sticks her in a room and tells her that she has one year to fall in love with him, or else. We're never sure what the or-else means, but that doesn't matter because she falls madly in love with him. Why wouldn't you fall madly in love with a rich guy who kidnaps you and takes away all your freedom? This movie's premise is disappointing because it celebrates Stockholm syndrome and toxic behaviors in relationships. But hey, some people like that in their films, I guess?

Script: 1/10

Where do I start with this? As someone who spends a lot of time and effort watching movies to review, I was not just disappointed by the script. I was insulted. Sure, I'll give them a pass for their English language bloopers, neither star is a natural English speaker. But it goes even deeper than that. The plot starts with what might be a suggestion of human trafficking, but we never address it again. Instead, we're treated to loads of filler where we see a man attempting to bend a woman to his will and the woman resisting. The character development is one-dimensional, and it's hard to figure out whether this is a character-driven or plot-driven story because, in all frankness, there isn't a story.

Cast: 3/10

The Obvious Conclusion

I understand that in situations like these, you're looking for handsome/beautiful people to portray the lead roles. In this sense, the casting is on point. Both Laura and Massimo are what you'd expect for gorgeous specimens of female and male. However, the skill stops at the looks. The movie doesn't really give the actors a lot to work with, so I'm not sure if Michele Morrone (Massimo) or Anna Maria Sieklucka (Laura) can act by the end of the film. The English dialogue is stilted and feels as though they just dispensed with a professional translator and went straight to Google. The stilted dialogue in English does little to rescue the cast from their poor acting.

Pacing: 2/10

I guess out there are people who really enjoy shopping montages. This movie has no less than three. In between the shopping montages are moments where the film wants to show sexual teasing culminating in sex. But not always! Sometimes it's just teasing. I honestly don't know what to make of the pacing in the movie. The plot has all the mobility of a pet rock. There's pacing in the sequences, but it feels like someone just cut a series of sex scenes together with shopping and a few expositionary moments of dialog and called it a day.

Composition: 4/10

365 Dni's Brilliant Composition

This movie seems as though it was specially composed for a particular audience. I am not a member of that audience, hence why I'm ragging on the film so much. But when you look at it, it's meticulously crafted to appeal to a specific type of viewer. If you're the kind of person who reads 50 Shades of Grey novels and fantasizes about having a toxic relationship with an obscenely rich man, this movie is a perfect fit for you. It's because of this point of view that I think the movie's composition wasn't as bad as the other elements. However, most of the work likely went into composing this movie into something remotely watchable, while the rest of the film took a hit.

Overall: 3/10



 

My opinions of this movie are firmly based on an understanding of emotion, cinematography, and plotlines. This movie's only passion seems to be lust, and its cinematography and plotlines revolve around a fever-dream of a sexually repressed woman. Not unlike the 50 Shades of Grey books. Its demographic is obvious, and if you go into this movie expecting a serious romance film, you'll be disappointed. It's a film that relies on lust and desire to drive the story forward but doesn't spend enough time constructing characters with more than that one emotion inside them. It feels like a lazy attempt at making a movie and probably won't appeal to a vast number of watchers. Unless, of course, you're into shopping montages, gratuitous nudity, and seven-minute sex scenes.

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