Ancil“Samantha’s baby.”
“You must be mistaken, Samantha doesn’t have a baby.”
I had the urge to shout “WHAT?” But instead I just stood there unable to speak with my grip around the flowers weakening.
“Are you okay?” Mrs. Hurlan asked when she noticed me just standing there.
“Yeah, I’m — I’m fine,” I said, shaking myself out of my trance. “I must have mistaken Samantha for another one of my friends.”
“You have too many friends,” Mrs. Hurlan said.
“You know me,” I lied. “I’m going to head over to the hospital to see how Sam’s doing.”
“Okay. I’ll be there in a minute. I had to take care of Nathan for a while. He got the flu. I don’t know why but all my children are just falling sick.”
Normally, I would say something uplifting and comforting like, “don’t worry Mrs. Hurlan they’d be fine.” But my mind was too flustered to even bother. Did Samantha lie to me? If she was pregnant then her mother would obviously know. You can’t hide a pregnancy from your mother. Or at least I think so. Samantha was always cunning. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt as I drove to the hospital.
Samantha lay on the same hospital bed from before but she looked different. I couldn’t really tell what was actually different about her other than her messy hair and makeup-less face. She was on her cell phone texting and when she rose up her head to look at me I noticed a yellowishness in her eyes. Her eyes looked like two suns. I wanted to ask her what was wrong with her eyes but I just stood there with my arms akimbo. She said “hey” but I didn’t reply.
“What’s wrong?” Samantha asked.
“What’s wrong?” I repeated, annoyed. “What’s wrong? You lied to me. You told me that you had a baby. I came all the way back to Washington to see my son.”
“I lied,” Samantha said, almost too chill. “The same way you lied about not being the father. I think I was entitled to a lie myself.”
“I didn’t lie. I just withheld the truth. There’s a difference.”
“It hurt. It hurt knowing that you could shack me up in the middle of the forest, get me pregnant and not even have the balls to admit it to me in my time of need. You promised me that you’d be there when I needed you. You promised me and I needed you then Ron. I needed you then and where were you? I was so confused. So confused trying to figure out who the father was. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat thinking about it and you weren’t there.”
“But I didn’t get you pregnant. You said the pregnancy was a lie.”
“I was pregnant but I got it aborted. I couldn’t deal with risking my life for a baby who could possibly not have a mother or a father. Life is already hard enough I didn’t want to bring my child into this.”
“You’re talking about being afraid to risk your life but look where we are Sam. Look where we are. If you were so concerned about living then why didn’t you stop drinking?”
“Because I was depressed okay! I was depressed that I had to abort my own flesh and blood. But it’s all your fault.”
“How is this my fault?” I asked, wide-eyed and confused..
“If you had told me that you were the father I would have probably made a different decision and my child would have been here today. You had my number. You knew how to get in contact with me but you were too busy hanging out with that bitch to even bother. Only months after the abortion did I remember that you were the-” Before she could have finished her sentence she suddenly began to vomit blood all over the hospital floor. There was way too much blood in her vomit for me to be at all comfortable. I ran beside her with my hand on her back and was about to press the nurse call button but she said in weakly voice, “don’t.”
“You need help,” I protested then I tried to press the nurse call button again but she grabbed it from me using as much strength that she could have mustered in her weakened state.
“Sam!” I shouted.
“I’m okay. It’s just a little blood.”
It wasn’t just a little blood. There was a puddle of thick blood on the floor. Her eyes seemed yellower and I began to connect the dots of her diagnosis. Her liver was failing or failed. I didn’t know.
“Sam, what’s happening to you?” I asked, staring her directly in her yellow eyes.
“I’m dying. Right now my father is in the doctor’s office talking about treatment and whatever but it’s all useless. I’m done for.” Her eyes were now watering. “The doctors are trying to sugarcoat it all but I’m smart. I’m a college girl. I know what’s going on with my body. My eyes are yellow because my liver is shitty and there is too much bilirubin build up in my blood. Back in the winter, my liver still had the capacity to function but I’m stupid. I just couldn’t stop drinking. Everything was just too much for me to handle. There were days when I just couldn’t live with myself and all the mistakes I’ve made. Most people make mistakes and get to live to tell the tale to their children but not me. I don’t get to live. I don’t get to live to tell the tale. I don’t get to finish my degree, get married or grow old. It was…” She vomited blood again and this time I pressed the nurse call button.
“Sam, you’re going to be okay,” I said, tears falling from my eyes. “You’re strong. You can survive this.”
Samantha was too weak to respond. Nurses rushed into the room and hurried me out into the corridor where I remained with Samantha’s father waiting on any news about Samantha’s condition. Her dad had his face in his palms and was crying the whole time creating an awkward silence between us two. Samantha’s mother eventually came with Nathan and insisted on seeing her daughter but the nurses kept saying that she was asleep and that she needed her rest.
We waited for hours and hours without sleep, awaiting any news from the doctors. I tried my best to comfort Samantha’s parents by telling them she was just asleep and would have been fine in the morning but my words of encouragement to the weeping duo were just words because Samantha never woke again.
