Lost For Words: A Novel

She got out of the shower, threw her towel over her body, and led me to her bedroom. The combined smell of cosmetics, perfumes, and lotion suffocated me. There were probably other smells in Kate’s incredibly messy room but it was overwhelmed by the chemicals. There were clothes scattered all over the floor mingled with all kinds of books. Her bed was so jam-packed with books and clothes that I could barely even see the bed. I had never been in a girl’s room but I never imagined one to be so messy and out of order. I had imagined a clean room filled with pictures of Harry Styles and Idris Alba posters. Maybe Kate was just different from the billions of females all around the world or maybe it was the unexpectedness of my visit that caught her off guard. She clearly didn’t have time to neaten up for my arrival. I was contemplating based on assumptions because, in my entire 19 years of living, I had never had a girlfriend or even had sex. I was a 19-year-old virgin. I did hug a girl once, under a shower, while she was crying but that doesn’t count in the whole scheme of things.

Kate fished around in the draw below her writing desk and pulled out an eight-page manuscript.

“Why would you print your novel with just eight pages?” I asked after noticing the manuscript in her hand.

“I printed a physical copy of my own book with hopes that it would help me get over my writer’s block and finish it. But it hasn’t worked because I still can’t find it in me to finish it even though I know what has to be written.”

“I know the feeling,” I said.

“I think that the only way I can finish my book is with your help.”

“How can I help?” I asked, confused.

She handed me the manuscript and said, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Your mom must be sooooo worried about you.”

I could tell that she was messing with me a little bit but I shrugged it off and took the manuscript. “Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.”


The car ride back home was horrendous. I felt woozy and nauseous the whole time. The kicks to my stomach must have churned up some food in me or it could have just been the waffles. I wasn’t sure.

I got to my home and I brainstormed all the possible excuses that I could have given my mom for all the bruises. But luckily, I didn’t have to give her any because she was fast asleep when I got in. I quietly hit the shower and then got in my bed.

The next day although really sore, I was really looking forward to meeting Kate. I woke up early just to read her very short manuscript which was actually very well written. The story wasn’t fully developed because there is only so much of a novel you can understand within the first eight pages. But based on what I did read, I understood that the two main characters in the story were neighbors Tom and Ariel, who were both 16. Ariel had only recently moved into her new home with her parents when she noticed that there was an “incredibly gorgeous male human” living next door. She accidentally spots him from her window through his window. He was bareback and “steaming with perfection” and all the things she wanted to do with him were vividly described in the story. So much for innocent young adult fiction. She wanted to meet him but her abusive father wouldn’t allow her to because he was very strict and overprotective of his only daughter. Go figure. So in order to communicate with Tom, Ariel wrote notes on pieces of paper and threw them into his window which was only opened during the day. Ariel would rush home from school every evening just to write notes, crumple them into a ball or sometimes into a jet, and throw them over into Tom’s house. She did that for days on end but Tom never sent any back. Until one day, he did. And that’s all there was. The story ended right there without any word on what Tom actually wrote. I wanted to know what Tom wrote. Did he like Ariel or was the note some kind of restraining order? I wanted to know so badly.

While I was loathing the unfinished and duly insufficient love affair, I heard the doorbell ring. At first, I thought that it was Kate but she had no idea where I lived so it would mean that she would have to stalk me, and to stalk me would be to be as obsessed over me as I was obsessed with her. Therefore, naturally, I had hoped that it was Kate, but of course, it wasn’t. There was no one there. I looked around but I saw nothing but a crumpled piece of paper on the floor. A crumpled piece of paper that I immediately linked to Kate’s unfinished love affair. I opened it expecting a pretty little love note from Kate but instead, I got the complete opposite. The note read:

From: Vince Warren.

To Ronald Baker

STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!!!

Ancil Gonzales is a Trinidadian writer and blogger with a love for Movies, TV Shows and Anime.

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